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Archive for the ‘Family & Family Issues’ Category

As Reformed people, we are deeply committed to the covenant. We have a solemn responsibility to our children—who after all are not ours, but the Lord’s. We as parents and as pastors have a sacred trust. As pastors, we require solemn vows of parents as they present their covenant children for holy baptism. As parents, we take those public vows in deep, humble gratitude for the manifold grace of God in ‘spreading His skirt over our little ones.’ With faith, we lay hold of the gracious promise, yet with a real trembling for the stewardship that is ours to raise them up in the “fear and admonition of the Lord.”

And yet, while our covenant-tradition is clothed with solemnity and gravitas, the lighter side of life shines through (or, it ought to!) as we endeavor to light the flame of faith in our children. There is a place for play; and, in fact, there is great promise in it. I’m increasingly convinced after twenty years of pastoring, twenty-five years of parenting, and now almost two years of grand-parenting, that one major ingredient of parenting and, yes, even pastoring, involves play. And I believe this is all the more vital in small, first- and second-generation Reformed and Presbyterian churches who lack the longevity of larger multi-generational churches. The margins are smaller and the risk of losing our children greater. Especially in our circles, the imperative to do all we lawfully can to create a home and church environment where our covenant children will naturally want to profess faith, commune, marry, bear children, and put down deep roots in our rootless world.

But whether your church is large or small and your subculture more fragile or more robust, these children are still ‘ours to lose.’ Yes, the Holy Spirit must regenerate. Enculturation is a barren womb without free and sovereign grace. But our responsibility, in giving and taking baptismal vows, is not just to catechize and keep good order in home and church. We may and must, if I may put it this way, “win” our children winsomely. And so I say, let us play.

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Once again, good material from Timon Cline. The original address on which he comments is pretty interesting as well, though Timon rounds things off so as not to dismiss all legitimate interest by the commonwealth on the national birthrate.

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The following is included as one of several appendices to Princeton Seminary’s first president and American Presbyterian worthy, Archibald Alexander. Entitled “Counsels to Christian Mothers,” this piece is worth the cost of the book, and the book itself truly worth its weight in gold. This is definitely one of my all-time favorites, a rich exploration of Christian experience in all its varieties, complexities, trials and triumphs, and all from a confessionally Reformed viewpoint and drawn from the heart of a seasoned physician of souls. The Banner of Truth has been continuously publishing it for I don’t know how long, and for good reason. Also, if you’d like to hear a recording of it, I did that several years back (I have improved in quality since then, so fair warning!). For more audio resources, visit WPE Audio here.

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When I address myself to Christian mothers, I do not mean to intimate non-Christian mothers stand in no need of admonition. Alas! that in a Christian country there should be mothers who have nothing of the spirit of Christ! Young people often promise themselves that they will attend to true religion after they are married and settled in the world. How preposterous is this! It ought rather to be their resolution not to think of entering into a state involving such weighty responsibilities, and the exercise of so many virtues—until they have become the possessors of true religion! Without vital piety how is it possible for any woman rightly to fulfill the duties of a wife, and especially of a mother? I feel that no woman destitute of religion is fit to become a wife and mother. Only think of it—an impious mother! If it were not so common, the very expression would excite emotions similar to those which we experience when we hear of an impious minister.

I address Christian mothers, because from them alone can I expect a patient hearing. I address Christian mothers, because all mothers ought to be sincere Christians. Is there a person on earth, whose mind is so perverted by prejudice, as not to perceive a congruity between piety and this tender relation? It was formerly a current opinion, even among infidels that religion was an ornament and safeguard to a woman. I knew one distinguished man who had renounced all belief in the Christian religion himself, who encouraged it in his wife, and furnished her with all the necessary means of attending church; and when one of his friends complained to him, that his wife was becoming pious, which gave him great concern, he told him that he was a fool, for that nothing was more suitable and desirable than that a wife should be pious. Even infidels are constrained, like the demons of old, to give their testimony in favor of Christ. Many ungodly men desire to obtain wives of genuine piety, and few intelligent men in our country would be pleased with a female infidel. Such a character was so rare in Virginia forty years ago, when infidelity abounded among the higher classes of men, that when a certain lady was pointed out as the advocate of deistical opinions, it created a revulsion of feeling in almost every mind.

Here I take pleasure in saying that in no class of society anywhere have I found examples of more pure and elevated piety than among the ladies of Virginia. And I have reason to believe that these examples have rather been increased than diminished since I left my native State. It may, in an important sense, be said that the Commonwealth has been preserved from utter destruction by the prudence, purity and piety of Virginian mothers. They have been the salt which has arrested the progress of moral corruption in the mass of society. Accordingly there is no country in the world, perhaps, where mothers are so much respected by their children, and have so great an influence over them. Ask almost any young Virginian where he will look for the brightest examples of moral excellence, and his thoughts will turn at once to the character of pious females, and perhaps to his own mother, if she happens to be pious.

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Just finished listening to an audiobook version of Wayne A. Mack’s Strengthening Your Marriage. Highly recommended. Especially appreciated his chapter on developing and keeping up good communication between spouses, a really insightful and practical chapter on figuring out your shared finances, and—what perhaps surprised me the most—a chapter on child-rearing. The latter makes buckets of sense when you realize that marital tension is aggravated by poor and sloppy discipline, or beneath that, an unbiblical “philosophy” of child-rearing.

Great refresher for strong marriages (we can never just coast!), a solid primer for those in the early glow, and a life-preserver for those treading water and wanting to get back to shore.

Pick up and read! Or, if you have access to Hoopla or other free library services, have a listen!

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A great little video on marriage with Dr. Joel Beeke:

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I often listen to the Christian news podcast, The World and Everything in It. It’s basically a reformed-ish version of NPR, and produced by the same folks who publish World magazine. I highly commend it (my only quibble being the quasi-benediction at the end of each episode).

There was a really great segment this morning with their regular “Monday Moneybeat” with David Bahnsen. It was an excellent treatment of the masculine malaise of younger men in the U.S.A. and their economic underperformance. Perhaps the most impactful quote for me was “employable men are marryable and marryable men are employable.” Standing ovation! Listen to the episode here; the segment begins at 22:10, and the transcript is below.

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MARY REICHARD, HOST:  Coming up next on The World and Everything in It: The Monday Moneybeat.

NICK EICHER, HOST: It’s time now to talk business, markets and the economy with financial analyst and advisor David Bahnsen. David heads up the wealth management firm the Bahnsen Group, and he is here now. Good morning to you.

DAVID BAHNSEN: Good morning, Nick, good to be with you.

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Birth rates are plummeting in the United States and globally, forecasting a political and financial crisis. The most recent estimate predicts the average American woman will have 1.6 children in her lifetime, far below the rate of 2.1 required to maintain a steady population and even further below the 2.5 rate observed in the United States as recently as 1970.

Many cultural and technological factors have contributed to this dramatic decline, and public policies play a role in shaping people’s decisions about whether to have children and how many. Finding the right policy levers for influencing fertility rates, however, has proven very difficult.

Read the rest of this article at The Federalist here.

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Here is an online classroom version of Tedd Tripp’s great Shepherding a Child’s Heart. This is the go-to parenting book for many in conservative, Reformed circles. I would strongly encourage every parent to read it . . . or at least watch and discuss these videos.

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A couple of good articles here and here, promoting biblical and natural-law views of women, motherhood, and childbearing contra feminism. I have tremendously little knowledge of Taylor Swift or her music; but the analysis from someone who does only confirms my suspicions and that Swift is a tragic symbol of feminism’s Faustian bargain.

On the other side of the gender coin is this article. I’ve never read this author before, but he definitely strikes a chord with me about a prescription for solid, biblical masculinity with a healthy, and distinctly Protestant embrace of church tradition:

And as usual, standard caveats (Rom. 12:9).

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