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Archive for the ‘Abuse, Manipulation’ Category

Benevolent manipulators & the surprise meeting

Posted in Abuse, Manipulation, Pastoral Theology on November 4, 2025| Leave a Comment »

This was a really helpful article on manipulative ministers. In particular, certain things stood out to me. First, there is such a thing as “benevolent manipulators,” as there is such a thing as true and sincere believers who manipulate. Anyone can manipulate, whether periodically and minimally, or habitually and intractably. Not all who manipulate are befanged, salivating monsters; they can be your sweet grandmother or your devoted, soft-spoken pastor. But a cigar is a cigar.

Some signs of the benevolent manipulator include: “They will subtly question your loyalty. They will be suspicious of anyone who leaves the ‘group.’ They will often undermine anyone who might pose a threat to their influence. They will try to convince you that any concerns or actions not aligned with their agenda stem from personal weakness. And so on.”

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Narcissism & Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Posted in Abuse, Manipulation, Christian Conduct, Christian Ethics, Pastoral Theology on May 17, 2025| Leave a Comment »

And some other resources from CCEF on the same subject here and here.

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The Cult Next Door

Posted in Abuse, Manipulation, Cults, Cultishness, Heresy, Spiritual Warfare; the Occult on January 27, 2025| Leave a Comment »

I’ve been listening to this fascinating serial podcast entitled “The Cult Next Door.” A tragic study from one great front in the Adversary’s multi-front war on God, Christ, and humanity—as well as his shrewd use of manipulation through many narcissistic minions like the father and pastor at the center of the story. Here is the blurb:

“Hosted by Mattie Lasiter and Ashleigh Teeter, siblings who were separated for more than 25 years due to the shadow of their shared past. Their father, a charismatic but enigmatic figure, led a cult that consumed the lives of its members, leaving their family torn apart and forbidden from contact. They have reunited to share their journey with you while unravelling the haunting tales of cults from around the world, shedding light on the warning signs that can help prevent others from falling into their grasp.”

And as always, standard caveats. Sadly, many of these have left off any semblance of Christianity. And the Enemy gloats.

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RPM: Witnessing to witnesses . . . in action

Posted in Abuse, Manipulation, Cults, Cultishness, Heresy, Reformed Parish Mission (RPM) Posts, WPE Editor, tagged , , , , on June 28, 2024| Leave a Comment »

More “shoe on the other foot” last Saturday. I was out with a new friend from Reformation Bible College, Yiourgos, canvassing for our special evangelistic meetings in Vineland. As I was moving down the street, I noticed three nicely-dressed Hispanic people getting out of their car. Had a hunch, and sure enough—they were “Testigos de Jehová” (Jehovah’s Witnesses).

As usual, very polite. And they knew their Bibles. The Watchtower had trained their drones well! With my precarious Spanish, I went to the Philippians 2 usage of Isaiah 45. The language that Paul used and applied to Jesus, “that every knee would bow” and “every tongue would confess,” was the very same language that Isaiah clearly referred to Jehovah! The Jehovah of Isaiah 45 gave to Jesus, according to Paul in Philippians, “the name that is above every name.” And what is that name, Jehovah gave to Jesus? None other than “Jehovah!”

I tracked with only parts of their response. My Spanish comprehension can be shaky; and the wife seemed to be especially zealous, probably accelerating her speech. I recall resonating with her use of Matthew 28:18-20, which God giving Jesus “all authority in heaven and earth.” We Trinitarians do not dispute the subordination of Jesus according to his human nature and in His person and office as Mediator. But clearly, I’ll have to unpack that more in a further conversation. Truly, “great is the mystery of godliness!”

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Beware the “Bully Pew!” (abuse by members)

Posted in Abuse, Manipulation, Church Order & Discipline on February 27, 2024| Leave a Comment »

Nathan Eshelman recently penned this very helpful review article of a newly published book on spiritual abuse in the church. This is a must read. While there are certainly autocratic bullies in the Church, there are also dangerous, manipulative abusers in the pew who–if not held to simple, biblical and presbyterian standards for conflict resolution–can create tremendous harm.

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If you stumbled into a rabbit hole you may find several things that intrigue you. There may be keys and playing cards or caterpillars—and maybe even a rabbit. But just because you find keys, playing cards, and caterpillars does not mean that you’ve entered the world of the Red Queen and the hookah-smoking caterpillar. Sometimes it takes more. Jefferson Airplane said it like this: 

“One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones that mother gives you
Don’t do anything at all
Go ask Alice
When she’s ten feet tall…”

I am working on a writing project that has taken me into various books on church relationships and communication. In the midst of that project, a beloved former professor of mine and churchmen has resigned from the ministry, in part, because of what is currently being called “spiritual abuse.” The idea of spiritual abuse is everywhere right now.

Read the rest here.

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Beware the spell, break the spell

Posted in Abuse, Manipulation, Articles, Christian Life & Experience, Experimental Religion & the Cure of Souls, Pastoral Theology, WPE Editor on February 1, 2021| Leave a Comment »

Pastors should be servants. In the spirit of their Lord who “came not to be served, but to serve” (Matt. 20:28), they should be the transparent ministers of the Savior. They should be the selfless hands, the beautiful feet, and above all, the trustworthy mouth of the Good Shepherd. To be faithful, they must be sheep and ever remain self-consciously aware that they never graduate from ‘sheep-hood.’ They must love, because they have first been loved. They must freely give, because they have first ever so freely received! “Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me more than these? …. Feed my lambs” (Jn. 21:15).

Read the full two-part article at Reformation 21: Part 1 & Part 2.

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